Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
