I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just took my morning after pill in the library
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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