Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
