this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
