He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
