He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
