you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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