Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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