you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize