Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
