He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize