Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
