Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
