Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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