she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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