i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize