I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You are a genius and a whore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize