I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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