Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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