do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
