just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
