My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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