Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just high enough for therapy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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