I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize