Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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