life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
