You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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