he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
