Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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