For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
