My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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