she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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