guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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