That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
