To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
