I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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