I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Damn victory sex feels great
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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