I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
