i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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