Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
