I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize