office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize