I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
