If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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