My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize