thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
