My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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