Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
