We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
