Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
