My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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