Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
