please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
