i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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