why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
