he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My balls are so social today.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
