Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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